


I'll be looking at the moon (but I'll be seeing you)

by lastchildofkrypton



Series: I see my future when I look in your eyes [3]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Bechloe babies, F/F, miscarriage tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:42:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26548444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastchildofkrypton/pseuds/lastchildofkrypton
Summary: Beca and Chloe have had their trip to Georgia, to visit Aubrey, planned for a few weeks. Of course, when they get there, they are met with more than they ever thought.
Relationships: Aubrey Posen/Original Male Character(s), Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Series: I see my future when I look in your eyes [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1456423
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41





	I'll be looking at the moon (but I'll be seeing you)

**Author's Note:**

> This story has mention of a miscarriage. Please read with care and caution.

“Mama.”

Beca looks over at her daughter, Lennon, sitting in the seat next to her on their flight to Georgia. She has tears dripping down her cheeks which are quickly turning a bright red instead of their natural rosy pink.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“My ears hurt bad.”

Beca cranes her neck to look back a few rows. Chloe is sound asleep with her headphones in. She thinks about waking her up but she’s been exhausted lately, so she does the only other thing she can think to do.

“Alright, come here.”

Beca unbuckles herself and then Lennon. She pulls the little girl into her lap and runs her hand over her hair. She rocks back and forth. Her shushing sounds, that are meant to be comforting, only seem to make her cries louder. She rests her hand on the side of her head while keeping her soothing rhythm back and forth. A couple people turn to look at them. Beca gives them a glare back, she refuses to apologize.

To be honest, she used to be that childless jerk who just wanted to zone out, or sleep, on her flights. She thought she knew everything about being a parent, when in reality she didn’t have a single clue. Even now, she barely knows what she’s doing half the time. But in this moment, she knows her baby is in pain. She’ll never apologize for her making her needs known.

“Mama, it hurts.”

“I know, monster. I’m so sorry.”

Beca digs through her bag with her one free arm. She pulls out a bottle of water and grabs the children’s Benadryl. She pours the right amount into the little measuring cup, nearly spilling it all over both of their laps. She forces it into Lennon’s mouth. Despite the fact that she’s trying her hardest to push it away.

“Don’t spit it out. It’s going to help you.”

She gives Lennon the water bottle and helps her take a big gulp. She wraps her in her blanket and starts to hum lightly. Her sobs turn to little whines and whimpers, which eventually turn into sniffles, into snores. Beca sighs, relieved, and adjusts herself so she can put an earbud in and press play on her flight playlist; it’s the only thing that ever calms her nerves while on an airplane, especially when her wife and child are also on that airplane.

When they make the announcement that they are ready for landing, Beca manages to shift her daughter into her own seat and get her buckled back in without waking her up; she supposes the medicine has a lot to do with that. She gathers her stuff together and grips the armrest; landing is her least favorite part. She waits for everyone else to get off and for Chloe to come over to them. Beca has unbuckled Lennon and has her on her lap again, her hand absentmindedly rubs circles over Lennon’s cotton t-shirt. Chloe has her purse slung over one shoulder, while she struggles to get their carry-on bag from the overhead bin.

“She fell asleep?”

“After a nice dose of Benadryl.”

“Uh oh.”

She puts the bag down and takes Lennon from Beca so she can get up.

“Why didn’t you come get me?”

“There was nothing you could do about it.”

Lennon stays asleep until they make it to baggage claim. She starts to wine.

“Mama.”

“Sh, baby, you’re okay. We’re off the plane, look.”

She looks up, a little startled, when it’s Chloe’s voice she hears, not Beca’s. Chloe looks at her little face and the exhaustion is clear. She cuddles herself back into her mom. Chloe sways back and forth and waits for Beca to get their bags. They walk outside and look around her for the bus stop.

Lennon squirms in Chloe’s arms. She makes another moaning sound and Chloe maneuvers so she can look at her face. Beca rubs her back and sends a text message to Aubrey to let her know they’ve arrived safely.

“Bec, when is the bus supposed to be here?”

“Fifteen minutes.”

“Okay, perfect. I’m going to run to the bathroom. Can you take her?”

She tries to hand Lennon over to her wife but she grips onto her shoulder. She refuses to let go as she starts to cry.

“Mommy, no thank you.”

Chloe chuckles a little at the use of her manners, despite how upset she is. She finally manages to detach herself to go to the bathroom. Beca is left with a very unhappy three year old..

“What’s the matter, monster? You feeling okay?”

Lennon lifts her head up to look at Beca. Her eyes look glassy and her cheeks are still red. Beca isn’t sure if it’s from being tired, it’s been a very busy couple of days, or if she is getting sick.

“Oh look, here’s mommy.”

Chloe reaches out to take her back into her arms. She settles when Beca drapes her blanket over her. She sleeps on the shuttle bus over to the rental car place and she even stays asleep when Chloe puts her into her car seat. The ride to Aubrey’s is quiet. Chloe flips through the radio stations and Beca groans in frustration with the GPS until they finally pull into the driveway.

Beca grabs the bags, while Chloe gets Lennon. Henry, Aubrey’s husband, walks out of the house and hugs them both.

“You guys made it.”

He runs his hand over Lennon’s back, gently, before he takes the bags and leads them inside.

“Where’s Aubrey?”

“She got called into work. Something about an event planning emergency.”

“That’s a thing?” Beca asks.

He shrugs, “You remember where the guest room is?”

Beca nods. She wheels the suitcase down the hallway.

“I’ll follow. I’m going to go put her down.”

Beca drops the bags in the corner of the room and sits on the edge of the mattress. Chloe puts Lennon in the middle of the bed. But when she stands up Lennon starts crying again. She lifts her arms up to be picked up.

“Mommy.”

Chloe sighs and leans against the edge of the bed.

“So close.”

She’s been sleeping for long enough now that there’s no way she’s going back to sleep; naps are a rarity these days but on days like today, they are a welcomed gift. She picks her up and sways.

“That nap was way too short.” Beca grumbles.

“Something is up. She’s never like this.”

It’s true. Lennon is the most even tempered child either of them have ever met. She is always happy and when she isn’t, she’s calm and calculated about it, almost like a mini adult. Beca always says she inherited that grace from Chloe; and Chloe agrees.

“I mean, she did just fly in a giant metal tube in the sky.” Beca tries to reason. She rubs her back. “That’s enough to throw anyone for a loop.”

Chloe takes her into the kitchen where Henry is making coffee and setting out the food that Aubrey, no doubt, meticulously, prepared for their arrival.

“Nap’s a no-go?”

Chloe nods and Beca shrugs. Henry tilts his head so he can get a look at Lennon’s face. She looks at him, with an upset expression at first, but when she realizes who it is, she sits right up and bumps Chloe’s chin with the top of her head.

“Uncle Henry!”

  
She reaches her arms out for Henry to take her. He spins with her wrapped tightly in his arms before he places loud kisses on her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, and her belly.

“I missed you munchkin.”

“I missed you!”

She cuddles into Henry’s chest. Beca and Chloe share a look, something isn’t right. They’re interrupted by the front door opening.

“Hello?”

Aubrey rounds the corner looking professional as always in dress pants and a blazer. She’s holding something that looks like a portfolio and a giant water bottle. Chloe basically runs up to her and hugs her. They haven’t seen each other in nearly eight months and it’s been hard on both of them. They hold each other for a while before Beca clears her throat. She has made her way right behind Chloe. They separate so Aubrey and Beca can hug; not nearly as long as the other two.

“Where’s my niece?” Aubrey claps her hands together.

“Right here, Aunty Bree.” Lennon giggles with excitement.

Aubrey is one of her favorite people, and not just because she spoils her rotten. Aubrey is a completely different person than she used to be, at least she is when she’s with Beca and Chloe’s girls. She’s patient and yielding; Beca never thought she’d see the day. Chloe, even though she would never admit it out loud, feels the same.

“No, you can’t be Lennon. You’re too big.”

“It is. It’s me.”

Lennon looks a little concerned, like Aubrey has actually forgotten her, but when Aubrey reaches her hands out to hold her, she falls into them.

Aubrey stiffens for just a moment. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Beca but she can’t figure out what it means.

“I know, I could never forget that sweet face.”

“I still don’t see why you couldn’t bring Charlie too.” Henry pouts.

“Because one kid on the plane was hard enough.” Beca says, taking a seat at the island.

“Uh oh.” Aubrey says.

“Tears were shed. Pouting ensued. It was not great.”

“And that was just Beca.” Chloe says, unable to resist the joke.

“You didn’t like the plane ride, munchkin?” Henry asks.

He is met with an emphatic shake of the head. It wasn’t her first time on a plane; not even close. She usually suffers a little discomfort, but never like today.

“My ears hurted the whole time.”

“That’s no fun, huh?” Aubrey asks, while fighting the urge to fix her grammar.

Lennon rests her forehead in the crook of her neck.

“She feels a little warm.”

“Do you feel okay, monster?”

Aubrey watches Beca gently place her palm on her forehead to feel for a fever. She’s watched Beca speak to her children many times but today it makes her heartache.

“Do you feel sick?”

  
She is met with a shrug of Lennon’s tiny shoulders.

* * *

Through dinner, Lennon is quiet. She refuses to sit in her own chair so Beca keeps her in her lap. She struggles to eat her own dinner before finally giving up and settling for the beer in front of her. Lennon’s eyes start to droop when they talk about things that don’t pertain to her. She nestles into Beca’s chest and her breathing begins to slow and even out.

“I should get her into bed before she’s completely out.”

Chloe nods. She kisses Lennon’s head and whispers, “Good night, baby girl. Have good dreams.”

Beca adjusts Lennon on her hip and walks down the hall. She lays her down on the bed to change her into her pajamas, with very little help from Lennon. She cuddles up with her in the middle of the big bed they’ll be sharing.

“Mama sing.”

Beca was hoping she would get out of the song tonight but it doesn’t seem that way. She sings a gentle, and very short, version of _I’ll Be Seeing You_ until she is sure that Lennon is asleep. She climbs out of the bed, careful not to jostle her too much.

She turns quickly when she catches a shadow in the doorway out of her peripherals. Aubrey is standing there, leaning against the door frame. She’s smiling but there’s a hint of sadness in her eyes. Beca shuts the door, most of the way, behind her when they go back into the hallway.

“You okay?”

Aubrey nods, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“We may not be as close as you and Chloe, but I can still tell when you’re lying.”

They walk back into the kitchen. Aubrey starts putting dishes in the sink. Chloe and Henry have moved outside to sit by the fire. Beca can hear Chloe’s laugh drift in through the screen door. Aubrey dries her hands on a dishtowel before she turns around to look at Beca, who is watching her expectantly.

“I had a miscarriage.”

  
Beca’s jaw falls a little. She doesn’t know what to say.

“Two and a half weeks ago. That’s why we were so excited you were bringing Lennon. We thought it might be a good distraction.”

“Aubrey, I’m so sorry.”

She shakes her head, “We weren’t trying to get pregnant.”

“That doesn’t make it any easier.”

Aubrey lets a few tears drip down her cheeks but she swipes them away, quickly. Beca wishes Chloe was in the room to help console their friend. Since having children, she has softened, a lot, but emotions will never be her forte. She walks over and hugs Aubrey. That’s all she can think to do, and it’s all it takes for Aubrey to fall apart. Beca holds her, she lets her cry, for as long as she needs. She can only imagine what she’s going through.

“I’m sorry.” Aubrey pulls back and wipes her tears.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Beca squeezes her hand, that is still clasped in her own, “Does Chloe know?”

Chloe tells her everything, but she knows that if Aubrey had asked her to, she would have kept this from Beca.

Aubrey shakes her head, “I’m going to tell her tomorrow when we go to lunch. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to do this when I told her.”

Beca nods, “I’m so sorry, Aubrey.”

She feels like she’s repeating herself, with words that don’t offer much, but she has no idea what else to say.

“We’ve decided we’re going to try again but not for a while. I don’t know if I can go through that again.”

“What did the doctor say?”

“She said that she isn’t sure what caused it.”

“But you’re alright? Physically, I mean.”

Aubrey nods. She moves to place a few glasses into the cabinet. Beca can see her hands shaking. When Chloe walks back inside to get another drink, Beca distracts her, so she doesn’t notice the remnants of tears, or the quiver in Aubrey’s voice.

* * *

Later that night, Lennon has been asleep for a few hours. The four of them are sitting around the fire outside, drinking wine, and catching up. Loud cries echo down the hallway, followed by a panicked sounding, “Mommy!”.

Chloe hops up and rushes down the hallway. Lennon is laying in a ball on the bed. She is crying so hard she can barely get any air in.

“What’s the matter, baby? What’s wrong?”

She puts her palm on her forehead and looks up at Beca, who is now standing in the doorway; eyes as wide as saucers.

“She’s burning up.”

“My head hurts.”

“Your head?”

Lennon nods but she points to her ear. Chloe picks her up and rubs her back. Her cries pierce her ear and her tiny fists grip her shirt. Chloe looks at Beca again, who is now looking down at her phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Finding the nearest urgent care.”

“It’s late. We’re better off going to the emergency room.”

“Okay, yeah, let’s go.”

She looks around the room for her keys and Lennon’s sweater. She grabs her blanket and stuffed narwhal, Walter; the one Aubrey and Henry gave her. Chloe follows her out to the kitchen. Aubrey and Henry have come inside, waiting to hear what’s going on.

“We’re taking her to the hospital.” Chloe says, putting on her shoes, trying to keep Lennon from slipping out of her arms.

“Do you want us to come with you?” Aubrey asks.

“No, it’s okay. We’ll keep you updated.”

* * *

“So, Lennon has a double ear infection, on top of what seems to be a pretty nasty sinus infection. I take it this is not her first ear infection.”

“Not even close.”

“Has she had tubes before?”

Chloe sighs. She saw this coming.

“Yes, when she was about a year and a half.”

Lennon is curled up in Beca’s arms. She’s fighting sleep, her head lolls to one side, then the other, before she blinks her eyes open.

“Based on the amount of fluid buildup in her ears and how much pain she’s in, I think it would be best to insert new tubes.”

“Right now?” Beca asks.

“You said you were here from New York?”

“Yes.”

“Then she definitely needs them before she gets on an airplane. The last thing we want is a burst eardrum. I can give you a referral to one of the ENT surgeons in the pediatric wing here.”

“That would be great. Thank you.” Beca says.

“I’ll also give you some pain medication so you all can get some sleep. I’ll do my best to get her in for tomorrow morning.”

“Thank you so much.” Chloe says, shaking the doctor’s hand.

* * *

Beca and Chloe wake up early so they can get Lennon ready for the hospital. Beca goes to make coffee while Chloe wakes Lennon. She lays down on the bed and rubs her back.

“Lemon, wake up.”

She kisses her head when Lennon starts to stir. She groans and grips Chloe’s shirt.

“No thank you, Mommy.”

“Come on, love, we’ve got to go. The doctors are going to make you feel all better.”

Lennon’s eyes open and she looks exhausted. She didn’t get a lot of sleep, and as a result neither did Beca or Chloe. She lets Chloe get her dressed and carry her out into the kitchen. Beca has filled two travel mugs with coffee and is gathering everything they need for the day. It shouldn’t take all that long but it doesn’t hurt to be over prepared. Lennon lays her head on Chloe’s shoulder and sighs.

“Hi monster, you ready to go?” Beca does her best to be upbeat.

Lennon rubs her nose and looks like she’s going to cry.

“Are you still sleepy?”

“I don’t feel good.”

“I know, love bug,” Chloe says, “but you’ll feel better soon.”

The drive to the hospital is quiet. Lennon dozes on and off. Beca focuses on the road, trying not to worry too much. Chloe sips her coffee. Taking several deep breaths. It’s the calm before the storm.

Beca carries Lennon through the main entrance of the hospital, into the waiting room. It doesn’t take long for them to get called back so they can prep Lennon for surgery. She wakes up when Beca puts her in the bed. She immediately panics.

“It’s okay, Len. You’re alright.”

She reaches her arms out for Beca.

“You’ve gotta stay in the bed. I’m sorry.”

“Mama, I’ll be good. I don’t want to go.”

Now it’s Beca’s turn to look like she’s going to burst into tears. Anytime their kids are in pain or sad, she has a hard time dealing with it; it makes her anxiety skyrocket. Chloe is always good in a crisis, so she takes a seat on the edge of the bed to soothe Lennon.

“You’re not in trouble. This is all to make you feel better.”

“I don’t like it.”

“I know it’s not fun. I know.”

The doctors come and wheel the bed down the hall into the operating room. The procedure is only half an hour. Beca gets several calls from work which only adds to her frustration. She plops down in the chair next to Chloe and runs her hands through her hair, pulling at the roots. Her left leg is bouncing rapidly back and forth.

“Are you alright?” Chloe asks, rubbing her back.

“It’s like I leave for a day and the whole damn place falls apart. I told them Len was in surgery and they still keep calling me.”

“Hey, Lennon will be fine. We’ve been through this before, remember?”

“I know, I know. But it’s still surgery and she’s still so little.”

Chloe nods, expecting Beca to fall into her usual rant of anxiety, but she stops herself. Instead she bites down on her lower lips and says, through a sigh,

“This was supposed to be a vacation.”

Chloe scoffs, “Yeah, I know. But that can’t be what this is about.”

Beca’s mind goes back to what Aubrey told her the night before.

“Have you talked to Aubrey, like just the two of you, since we’ve been here?”

“Not really, why?”

Beca wants to crumble and tell her. But she knows it’s not her place.

She shakes her head and runs her hands over her face, “Nothing. It’s nothing. I’m just overwhelmed.”

“I know.”

  
Chloe kisses her temple and rests her head on Beca’s shoulder.

* * *

Lennon’s eyes flutter open. She looks so tiny in the hospital bed. She looks around the room, clearly confused about where she is. Chloe leans over the side of the bed and kisses her head; at the contact Lennon’s body goes slack and she rests back against the pillows.

“Hi there, little girl, you did great.”

“What did I do?”

Lennon’s voice is groggy and slurred. She moves to grip Chloe’s hand and misses completely, nearly smacking Chloe in the face. She grabs her little fist and kisses it three times.

“You got your tubes in your ears. The doctor said you did the best out of anyone he’s ever had.”

Lennon’s eyes continue to flutter until they land on Beca. She is leaning against the wall, in front of the bed. When she realizes Lennon is looking at her, she forces a smile onto her face.

“Hey monster.”

“I don’t feel good.”

“I know,” Chloe starts, “you’re going to feel a kind of funny for a little while longer, but then I promise, you’ll feel so much better.”

Chloe knows the anesthesia is messing with her head. The way she’s moving is like a drunk person and her voice doesn’t sound like hers; it’s been replaced with a raspy, scratchy, one.

“No, Mommy, I don’t feel good.”

She sits up and starts to gag. Chloe grabs the small kidney shaped basin and puts it by her mouth. She gags a few more times before she vomits into it. Beca steps out to grab one of the nurses.

“Ms. Lennon, are you alright?”

Lennon nods and lets Chloe wipe her mouth with a wet wipe.

“I throwed up in there.”

“Don’t worry about that, okay? That happens all the time.”

The young woman has a kind smile. Beca can tell she is very good at her job. She reminds her a lot of Emily and that brings her a sense of comfort.

“I’ll go grab the doctor for one last check.”

“Thank you.”

Once she’s gone, Lennon grips Chloe’s hand again.

“Can we go home now?”

“Pretty soon, okay? The doctor is going to come talk to us and then in a little bit we can go back to Aunty Bree and Uncle Henry’s house.”

Beca had almost forgotten they weren’t in New York. She feels like they’ve been in the hospital for days, when in reality, it’s only been a few hours. She walks over and kisses Lennon’s head.

“I wanna go to my home.” Lennon whines.

“You don’t want to come to my house? My house is the best, we have snacks.” Aubrey’s unexpected voice makes both Beca and Chloe jump.

“You didn’t have to come.” Chloe says, standing to give Aubrey a quick hug.

“Of course I did.”

  
Beca knows that Aubrey’s bright tone is fake, but she wonders if Chloe can tell too. Her smile is too big and her eyes hold an emptiness that she isn’t sure she would notice if Aubrey hadn’t divulged her secret the night before.

“How else would I have been able to give Lennon this?”

She pulls a small teddy bear from behind her back and hands it to Lennon. Her coordination is still off but she does her best to hug it to her chest. She giggles when the fluffy fur tickles her cheek.

“What do you say to Aunty Bree, Len?”

“Thank you. I love you.”

Lennon looks up into Aubrey’s eyes. Almost instantly, she can feel tears forming. She knows Chloe and Beca are watching her, but she can’t stop the swell in her chest and the aching in her gut. Despite everything inside of her telling her to stop, she can’t keep a few stray tears from overflowing.

“Aubrey, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.”

She wipes under her eye and shakes her head, giving a small, humorless, chuckle; the way Chloe has seen her do a million times before. Chloe looks over at Beca and the expression on her face gives away that she might know what’s going on.

“Come with me.” Chloe says, pulling on Aubrey’s arm to get her out of the room.

Once they’re in the hallway, Chloe turns and crosses her arms over her chest. She cocks her head to the side, searching for eye contact; she doesn’t get it.

“I could tell something was wrong two weeks ago when we talked on the phone. I noticed it again when we got here.”

“You could tell?”

“You’re my best friend, of course I could tell. But I wasn’t going to say anything. I didn’t want to force you to talk if you didn’t want to. But I think now is the time we should talk.”

Aubrey nods, slowly at first, before her movements turn jerky and a sob escapes her throat. Chloe pulls her into a hug and lets her cry.

* * *

“Mama?”

“Yeah, monster, what’s up?”

Beca leans forward, resting her elbows on the bed. She looks into Lennon’s eyes and smiles.

“Why is Aunty Bree sad?”

Beca shrugs, “Uh, I don’t know. But Mommy is going to help her feel better, okay? Don’t worry.”

Lennon nods, seemingly placated by this answer; Beca is thankful she is still so young, than an ‘I don’t know’ is still a good enough answer. She doesn’t like to lie to her but no good could possibly come from her saying anything more.

She watches Lennon’s little features fade away into sleep. She can’t imagine what Aubrey is going through. From the moment she found out that Chloe was pregnant with Len, from the very second she found out that she was going to have Charlotte, she was attached; she was utterly, devastatingly, in love with them. She doesn’t want to think about what losing them would have done to her.

* * *

Aubrey pulls in a deep breath, that lets Chloe know she’s done crying, for now. She gives her one last squeeze before moving to the small bench on the other end of the hallway. Chloe waits, patient as always, giving her a space to fill however she needs.

“I was pregnant.”

Chloe does her best to keep her expression stoic but she knows one of her features betrays her by the way Aubrey looks back at her.

“I lost the baby, two and a half weeks ago. We weren’t trying and it was a huge surprise to both of us when the doctor said I was pregnant. It was only a few weeks, but we had already come around to the idea. We were talking about plans and nursery colors; now I know that was all a little premature.”

“No, there’s no way you could have known.”

“The doctor said, she isn’t sure what caused it.”

It’s clear that this is the same thing she’s been saying her head, over and over again, for two and a half weeks.

“She said, there’s no reason to believe, if I were to get pregnant in the future, that it would happen again. So, who knows, maybe somewhere down the line, we might try again. But not for a while.”

“There’s no rush.”

“I just, I’m so angry with myself. I keep thinking back over those few weeks, trying to figure out what I did to cause it. What did I do wrong, Chlo?”

Chloe shakes her head, vehemently, before taking one of Aubrey’s hands in both of her own.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes these things just happen and there’s no reason good enough to explain it.”

“Henry is devastated. I feel like I failed him.”

“You didn’t fail anyone.”

“It’s just, this wasn’t even something we were sure we wanted. And now the thought, that I may never be able to experience it, it makes me sick.”

There’s a long pause, the heaviest that has ever passed between them.

“Do you remember what you told me when I was struggling with IVF?”

Aubrey keeps her eyes down on the speckled tile floor, but nods, slowly.

“I said, pregnancy doesn’t define motherhood.”

“That’s right. So, if having a child is something you two want, that doesn’t necessarily mean pregnancy. And the doctor seems hopeful that pregnancy isn’t off the table, right? I know that doesn’t make anything better, there’s no way to move past this…”

Chloe trails off. She’s out of her depth. She doesn’t know what to say, because no matter what leaves her mouth, it’ll never be enough to make Aubrey feel better.

“You’re right, it’s all just unbelievable.”

Chloe pulls Aubrey into her side, wrapping an arm around her waist. Aubrey’s head falls onto Chloe’s shoulder as their breathing falls into rhythm with one another; like they haven’t spent any time apart at all.

“Thank you for telling me.” Chloe says, quietly.

“Thank you for not judging me.”

“Never. You’ll be an amazing mom one day.”

* * *

“I still can’t believe she was in surgery this morning.” Chloe says, laying on her side next to Lennon.

It’s true. This morning feels like a lifetime ago. Between the surgery, and what Aubrey has shared with them, it feels like they’ve lived several days in just this one.

She runs her fingers through the wispy curls and smiles. Beca watches Chloe’s long eyelashes bounce up and down like she’s fighting sleep herself.

“Never a dull moment, huh?”

“Nope.”

Chloe looks up, directly into Beca’s eyes.

“You’re amazing.” She blurts out. It makes Beca choke.

“Me? I didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly. You kept Aubrey’s secret. You’ve turned into someone she confides in. If you had asked me your first year at Barden if I could imagine that, I would have laughed in your face. But you are, you’re amazing.”

Beca shakes her head, “I think Aubrey is the amazing one. She’s gone through one of the most devastating situations I could ever imagine and she’s somehow still standing.”

“I used to think Aubrey was invincible.” Chloe admits. “When I first met her, she was one of the most self-assured eighteen year olds I had ever met. She was always ready to take charge, and always seemed to have the answers. After a few months, I realized it was all a show; she hurts just as much as the rest of us, she’s just very good at hiding it.”

A long moment passes; neither of them really know what to say. Beca lays down, on the other side of Lennon, cocooning her in between the two people who love her the most. Beca thinks about how many times Aubrey and Henry’s baby would have been wrapped up in their love, how many nights would have passed just like this. She shakes herself from it before it wrecks her completely.

“They’ll be okay.”

Chloe smiles at the statement but she can feel every ounce of false confidence within it.

“Yeah.” She is able to force a single word through her sudden breathlessness.

“They’ll be okay.” Beca repeats, clearly trying to reassure herself, just as much as Chloe.

Chloe has been ruminating over Aubrey’s words the entire day. They echoed through her mind while she watched Aubrey and Henry prepare dinner, while they sat and drank wine by the fire, as she watched them go off to bed together.

“If I had lost Lennon, would you have resented me?”

Beca’s head lifts, quickly, from the pillow. She looks shocked, maybe a little hurt, but when she realizes just what Chloe is asking, her features soften and she asks,

“Would you have resented me if I lost Charlie?”

“Never.”

“Our children are amazing. They’re my whole heart, but you’re my soul. There is absolutely nothing in this world that could change the way I love you.”

Chloe lets out a deep sob, it rattles her rib cage where it’s been sat all day. Beca gets up and walks around the bed. She kneels down next to Chloe and leans in close. Even through the darkness, Chloe can see the sparkle in her eyes. She feels comfort in Beca’s watery smile.

“I love you so much. And if Henry loves Aubrey, even a fraction, of the amount I love you, they’ll be just fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang: www.lastchildofkrypton.tumblr.com
> 
> Chapter title from the song I'll Be Seeing You


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